My grandparents were married for over half a century and
played their own special game from the time they had met each other... The goal
of their game was to write the word
"SHMILY"
in a surprise place for the other to find. They took turns
leaving
"SHMILY"
around the house and as
soon as one of them discovered it, it was their turn to hide it once
more. They dragged "SHMILY"
with their fingers through the sugar and flour containers,
to await whoever was preparing the next meal. They smeared it in the dew on the
windows overlooking the patio (where my grandma always fed us warm, homemade
pudding with blue food coloring).
"SHMILY"
was written in the steam left on the mirror after a hot
shower, where it would reappear bath after bath. At one point, my grandmother
even unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, to leave
"SHMILY"
on the very last sheet. There was no end to the places
"SHMTLY"
would pop up. Little notes with
"SHMILY"
scribbled hurriedly were found on dashboards and car seats,
or taped to steering wheels. The notes were stuffed inside shoes and left under
pillows.
"SHMILY"
was written in the dust upon the mantel and traced in the
ashes of the fireplace. This mysterious word was as much a part of my
grandparents' house as the furniture. It took me a long time before I was able
to fully appreciate my grandparents' game. Skepticism has kept me from
believing in true love one that is pure and enduring. However, I never doubted
my grandparents' relationship. They had love down pat. It was more than their
flirtatious little games; it was a way of life. Their relationship was based on
a devotion and passionate affection, which not everyone is lucky to experience.
Grandma and Grandpa held hands every chance they could. They stole kisses, as
they bumped into each other in their tiny kitchen. They finished each other's
sentences and shared the daily crossword puzzle and word jumble. My grandma
whispered to me about how cute my grandpa was, how handsome and old he had
grown to be. She claimed that she really knew "how to pick 'em."
Before every meal they bowed their heads and gave thanks, marveling at their
blessings: a wonderful family, good fortune and each other. But, there was a
dark cloud in my grandparents' lives, my grandmother had breast cancer. The
disease had first appeared ten years earlier. As always, Grandpa was with her
every step of the way. He comforted her in their yellow room, painted that way
so she could always be surrounded by sunshine, even when she was too sick to go
outside. Now the cancer was again attacking her body. With the help of a cane
and my grandfather's steady hand, they went to church every morning. But, my
grandmother grew steadily weaker (until, finally, she could not leave the house
anymore.) For a while, Grandpa would go to church alone, praying to God to
watch over his wife. Then one day, what we all dreaded finally happened.
Grandma was gone.
"SHMILY"
it was scrawled in yellow on the pink ribbons of my
grandmother's funeral bouquet. As the crowd thinned and the last mourners
turned to leave, my aunts, uncles, cousins and other family members came
forward and gathered around Grandma one last time. Grandpa stepped up to my
grandmother's casket and (taking a shaky breath) he began to sing to her.
Through his tears and grief, the song came (a deep and throaty lullaby).
Shaking with my own sorrow, I will never forget that moment. For I knew that
although I couldn't begin to fathom the depth of their love) I had been
privileged to witness its' unmatched beauty.
S-H-M-I-L-Y: See How Much I Love You.
Thank you, Grandma and Grandpa, for letting me see.
SHMILY,
Mr. David A. Cross
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